This is a satirical piece written “a few years ago” by one of our Guest Editors, EKG of Virginia. It was forwarded to us with permission to publish. We particularly admire the way EKG sees the mythology and the very descriptive and common sense phraseology used.
In light of discovery that important critical opinion concerning Global Warming was suppressed, we think EKG's commentary was prescient and appropriate. Senator Inhofe (R-OK) has said that in light of the alleged government cover-up that he will conduct an investigation into it. An investigation of a cover-up is particularly appropriate since Cap and Trade legislation is now before the Senate and how the government has handled such critical information should be disclosed to all!....Ed
******************************************
Global Warming—The Church of the Holy Smoke!
By EKG
Until I met a fervent believer in The Church of the Holy Smoke, I
assumed intelligent people were skeptical of claims predicting a rise in
the earth’s temperature twenty-five years from now when the weather
forecasters couldn’t predict whether it was going to rain on Tuesday. Didn’t
they remember the Scarentologists (no relation to Scientologists)
portending a coming “Ice Age” a mere thirty years ago, I wondered? For
reference, that was around the time the “population bomb” was supposed
to go off and starve us all to death. Unless, of course, Ronald Reagan
blew us up first which would bring a “nuclear winter”.
Then AIDS arrived, and those who believe mankind is a tumor on the
planet found a new cause. Holy Smoke, they yowled. The disease is going
to kill us all! The End is near! Somebody do something! We need a
vaccine! Find a cure! Now! Before it’s too late! To assist the
researchers in their quest for a cure, the priests and priestesses of
the beautiful people pinned poignant red ribbons on $50,000.00 dresses
and $20,000.00 tuxedos when they took to the Academy Awards in their
limos to congratulate themselves on being Democrats who care.
AIDS seems to have faded into the background. It’s been twenty-five
years at least since we were all going to catch it, and since most of us
were recalcitrant enough not to oblige, those who care about everything
had to find a new cause. They found it in the Internal Combustion
engine. Not exactly in the internal combustion engine, you understand,
outside it. Seems America’s stinking automobiles were poisoning the
planet. They were off and running. Holy Smoke! The ice caps are melting!
Polar bears are drowning! New York will be under water in ten years. The
End is near! Somebody do something! Shut down the factories! Ban the
automobile! Raise taxes! Now! Before it’s too late!
This new Church of Holy Smoke comes replete with messiah and prophet
rolled into one, a semi-hysterical fat man with squinty little beady pig
eyes that gleam with fanatical fire as he cruises in his private jet
from place to place to warn about the danger of spewing CO2 into the
troposphere. The faithful gather at his feet, mesmerized by his message of
doom, convinced if he weren’t wearing $1000.00 shoes, he could walk on
water. The Goracle’s proclamations are gospel.
Global Warming is a religion, and like any other religion, the true
believers must rely on faith, that which cannot be proved by science.
Like the Torquemada and the other Inquisitors, they are relentless in
identifying and silencing heretics who question their religion.
Thankfully, this time around, we heretics won’t be burned at the stake.
Setting that many of us on fire might pump too much CO2 into the
atmosphere and make matters worse.
Comments